Friday, 14 January 2011

Changes.

A new year is supposed to be a time for changes - I know - but sometimes the things that change are the things you wish would stay the same.
   It seems now that the new year has turned it feels like i'm losing touch with alot of things. I'm now missing out on time with my friends because I always ended up having a previous commitment and because our schedules are so different I feel like i'm constantly missing out. I'm constantly playing catch up in order to make up to my friends when I can't be there. I'm trying to stretch myself between people and my school work and it doesn't seem to be going very well. It seems that instead of get a step closer to how I want to be each time, i'm trying to acheive it all in one go. I know I shouldn't, but for some reason I can't help it. I spend the whole week doing work but when it comes to the weekend it seems to just disappear.
   Looks like i'm losing sight of family too - well they're losing sight of me. I mean I understand things have changed but that's no excuse to leave me out of things when it's not necessary. I don't think I would mind if someone said, "Sorry Bethan, I know we haven't spoken lately." It's the fact that no-one seems to care. They don't even give it a thought. At least I feel bad when I feel like i'm abandoning my family. So I go on with my hectic life, missing out, being ignored etc. but the second one of them is missing and they need someone to go somewhere with them or they want them to do something for them who do they call? Yeah, that's right. Me. What's worse is that they expect to start from where they left off. And let me tell ya, feeling like you've been used isn't great - especially when it's by family. I'm not going to take the fall for other people's crap anymore.
   I've also tried to empathise more and not be so selfish but it seems like when I try not to be selfish I end up being totally ignored. No-one seems to notice my efforts. I try hard to look nice and be nice and work hard etc. and when the people you wish would notice don't, it makes you feel like shit. As a result of this i'm sitting here on a friday night, missing a group outing, being ignored and feeling alone. There will be a moral I promise, I just think for my own selfish reasons need to write it out in order to make myself feel better. (I know it's selfish but if I hadn't posted anything no-one would have notices because there'd be nothing to notice, geddit?)
   Well yeah, I guess the moral is . . . Make sure your priorities are right and don't give time to people who don't care whether they you their time or not. They don't deserve it. If you're trying to change your ways for the benefit of someone you love and they don't seem to recognise that then to be honest, they should go and f*** themselves.


Bethan Tamsin - A girl with a voice

Sunday, 2 January 2011

2011.

A new year! One more year closer to the 2012 Olympics. One more year before I go to university (fingers crossed - cough cough David Cameron.) The year I turn 17 and loads of other things. How exciting?
   I guess I could say what lots of other people are, "People say that they're going to change every New Year but they don't." But for some reason i've decided to be optimistic like the other half.
   I know that there are lots of things I need to do or change or gain this year - as well as lots of things that I want to go, change and gain. Realistically, I should chose one and give it 100% unfortunately coming up this year I have my AS levels, a dance show, dance exams and potentially employment. Therefore, nothing can really take my full attention but to be honest, can anyone really focus solely on one thing?
   I guess this is going to be short one! So, HAPPY NEW YEAR everyone! May all your resolutions be successful if you have one.


BethanTamsin;X

Sunday, 24 October 2010

Live your life to the fullest

It's strange. Everyone knows that death is inevitable. We all know that it's going to happen. However, death still remains as one of the most predictable things in the universe, all the while being equally unpredictable.
   It's unfair really. There are people walking around drunk and drugged up who think that fruit and vegetables are something only found in a fairytale, and then there are those who are happy and healthy whose tickers are tick-tocking perfectly and then out of the blue they're gone. Just like that. And you don't even get a chance to say goodbye.
   This is probably why people say you should live your life to the fullest. Say yes to everything and regret nothing. Despite the fact that this is true, there's always going to be those people who'll say, "How can we live each day to the fullest if we're forced to do things like go to school/work etc.?" Well I believe that these people are rather narrow-minded. Living life to the fullest isn't going out to hardcore parties or going base jumping off the Empire State. Whether it be working your hardest to create as many opportunities as you can for yourself, or telling the person you love that you wouldn't be anything without them, you're still living your life to the fullest. Living life means different things to different people, it's just your decision what it means to you. Work it out and do it!
   I am a firm believer in when it's your time to go, it's your time to go. I know that some people may find that hard to comes to terms with especially if it's the death of a child or a death that seems utterly untimely but I simply believe that if it wasn't time for that person to go then something different would have happened in the events leading up to it. They do say the lord works in mysterious ways... Nevertheless, I also believe that everyone's lives should be celebrated. And that's also another reason why people should live their lives to the fullest. Not only for yourself - but for them.

Bethan Tamsin - A girl with a voice

Sunday, 3 October 2010

You know something I will never understand?

Crap friends. You know those people that you look back upon and think 'how could I have been so wrong?' Well this weekend I have had the pleasure of experiencing and spectating the effects of rubbish friends on two occasions.
   On this first occasion I was sort of ambushed. Usually I am one to suck it up and pretend like nothing has happened  towards a certain person - especially if it's for the sake of someone I care for - but on this occasion I stood my ground, and by-golly-gee-whizz I felt good about it. I mean I know they say, "You should show respect even if you don't like someone." Well I say, "Why respect a disrespectful person?" I encountered one of those "friends" who at one sight of them instantly reminds you what they've done to get in your bad books and sets you off in one of those "moods".
   Well as I was saying, I was ambushed... Ambushed with a hug. A hug that I courageously declined (probably in the rudest fashion) and felt damn good about! And in that moment I retold myself - why? I don't know because I still believe I was right - "Bethan, this is the right thing to do. This "friend" has crossed the line too many times, and they don't deserve your friendship."
   Now this second occasion I witnessed something between friends that I've never seen before that unsettled me slightly. I saw two friends trying to play each other off of another friend. Now isn't that terrible? Three best friends at that. You see being a spectator of this it was great to watch the person in the middle stand up for themselves and fight their corner like Ali in a heavy-weight final. And do you know why? Because it payed off. And I got to witness the magical moment. And I got to hear the apology. And I thoroughly enjoyed myself.
  
   So the main moral to this blog/rant is that when friends don't treat you how they should, stand up for yourself! Don't let them win! And in the end you'll be the one with a feeling of triumph and you'll be the one receiving the apology. And if you don't get an apology maybe your friend needs to go and fist themselves. :D

Bethan Tamsin - A girl with a voice

Friday, 1 October 2010

Introduction

Hey everyone!
   Just a quick introduction to this blog really. This is where I will be sharing and unravelling my thoughts. I will be expressing ideas and also sharing knowledge that I believe will benefit people as well as talking about my general day to day life, revealing the things that make me tick and things that make me enjoy my life as much as I do.

   Hopefully you'll enjoy this blog as much as I enjoy writing. Hopefully this will provide you with some thinking material, perhaps give you a laugh or two and potentially aid you in some way.

BethanTamsin - The girl with a voice